Why speak in public?

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Because it's scary.  That's the simplest, most direct answer.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain."  I have written about the Seven and Seven (the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Virtues), and one of my favorite virtues is courage.  Mettle.  Moxy.  Bravery.  If I can face my fear, look it straight in the eye, then I will master it.  What does that look like? It means breaking it down into its elements, analyzing those elements, then determining to overcome them by embracing them.

Last night, I gave a speech about a subject with which I am very comfortable, covered calls.  I was familiar with the subject matter; I spoke about something I enjoyed; I was well organized, and was even proud that I had accomplished my very first Powerpoint presentation ever.  I was pleased that the slides flowed smoothly, and that I remained on point.  However, somewhere toward the end of my speech, I began to lose my concentration.  What happened?  I don't think I can put my finger on it.  My throat tightened, my voice began to break, and I felt butterflies.  My subject matter seemed to slip from my mind.  I wonder if I was beginning to think about the green light coming on soon, and that I would need to wrap up my talk.  Perhaps I was worried that I would not be able to say everything on the subject that I had intended before the red light came on.  I wished for a smooth ending that would wrap up my 10-minute talk elegantly, and did not want to be rushed.  I did finish my speech, and did deliver the closing, all before the red light was lit.

Here are some of what I consider mechanical impediments to an effective speech:

At Toastmasters, speakers give speeches that are timed.  They can last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes, depending on the level of the speaker.  Regardless of the length of the selected speech, speakers are always under the pressure of time constraints.  This is not a free-wheeling chatterbox platform.

At Toastmasters, someone is always counting how many crutch words speakers use, words such as ah, er, hmm, you know, like - bridges we typically use to either avoid silence or feel more comfortable while we search our brain.  That kind of scrutiny is unnerving.  At a previous Toastmasters club, each time someone said one of those offending crutch words, a nail would be dropped into a bucket.  I have yet to overcome the distractibility that that creates. 

We are supposed to think on our feet during the Table Topics portion of the meeting, and speak extemporaneously on a subject selected by the host for that segment.  I am always afraid that I will not know what to say, that I become tongue tied and will freeze.  This is not a hollow fear: It is one of my worst fears in life.  I am tongue tied with my mother and similarly tongue tied with my husband.  If things are smooth, so am I; if things are a bit heated, I freeze.  Frozen solid.  You could dance the polka on my icy glaze!

At Toastmasters, speakers are evaluated by other speakers.  Speakers are praised for their successes, and given areas that need improvement.

Why speak in public? I know I can do it; I'm afraid of it; I want to master it.